What To Do if You Think Your Child has a Developmental or Learning Difference

At some point when a child is in school, or perhaps earlier, some parents realize that their child is different from most of their peers. I have spoken to parents and witnessed myself a wide variety of problems in children of all ages, all of which merit a thorough assessment. The problems may manifest as perceived “laziness,” trouble with reading or math, behavior problems, emotional problems, attention issues, anxiety, depression, or not keeping up with the physical and/or social skills of the other kids. Parents might notice that their child, unlike their peers, is terrified of loud noises or costumes at Halloween. Parents might notice their child sucks on his shirt all the time when other children do not. I have seen a child whose father described him distainfully as “clumsier” than other children and blamed him for not putting out his hands to break a fall—an early reflex their child was missing that, without therapy, was entirely out of the boy’s control. Sometimes parents do not notice problems but issues are flagged by their child’s pediatrician or teachers. Sometimes problems may only become obvious in the preteen and teen years.

Most parents feel a sense of reluctance to pursue assessment. It can be tempting to take a “wait and see” approach when it comes to suspecting “something wrong” with your child. But for your child’s benefit, it’s always best to understand their issues and intervene as necessary as soon as you can. Know that an assessment is a key that opens doors to a small army of people trained to help your child be successful. Don’t let your reluctance hold you back.

Getting a detailed professional assessment will help you understand your child’s delays and learning differences. This can be incredibly helpful. Children with learning and developmental differences are usually misunderstood by others—even their parents. This, unfortunately, is the norm. Assessments are important! The more understanding you have of your child’s issues, the more empathy you will have for his or her struggles. Before you seek out an assessment though, it is important to understand what a professional assessment is and is not. A professional assessment is not a casual comment from a pediatrician telling you verbally that your child “has Asberger’s.” A professional assessment relies on standardized testing and results in a detailed written report that includes the result of testing by category, including what this means in practical terms for your child, and ends in recommendations for therapy, treatment, and educational accommodations.

Here in the United States, the best place to start may be your child’s pediatrician. Ask for some basic testing such as vision and hearing testing as well as a basic developmental screening. Pediatricians do not always flag problems when they exist, so do not count on them alone for your child’s assessment. In our case, our child’s pediatrician was not helpful in flagging any problems. However, they can be helpful in doing at least some basic screenings to rule out other conditions that you may not have considered. They can also provide a referral to experts on your medical plan if you have persistent concerns which may allow your insurance company to cover some of the costs of the assessment.

Your next resource in seeking a thorough assessment is your child’s school district. In the United States under the Child Find law, school districts are required to find children aged birth through 21 who have developmental and learning differences. Write to your school district requesting an assessment. It is very important to make a written request for this assessment. Your school district will have child psychologists on staff who have expertise in assessment, Occupational Therapists with assessment expertise, as well as speech therapists and OTs who provide therapy. For more information on the Child Find Law, this link is an excellent resource.

Finally, you may consider getting a private assessment if you can afford it in order to have a more detailed understanding of your child and to have a second opinion from someone who is not responsible for the cost of educating your child. Private assessments are expensive. Your insurance company may cover some of the costs. You may want to consider that a good assessment, while expensive, can guide you in a direction that will likely save you money down the road.